To make an authentic tasting Brown Boy Breakz you will need the following key ingredients:

• Indian and Pakistani dna from the finest Punjab region.
• This has to be blended together in the East End of London to form a thick base.
• Transport this mixture to Lisa Stansfield country and imbibe with some pre-school education.
• Bake in the sun for a number of years before transferring to hills renowned for Jute, Jam and Journalism.
• Once established in this new environment, carefully whip to a frenzy with old school hip hop, funk, disco and rock.
• Don’t forget the importance of grilling under hot Bollywood soundtracks at this point for extra stimulation.
• Leave ingredients to settle for 9 years and bring to the boil in the Scottish capital city, simmering gently on a low heat.
• Now you’re cooking. Generate an interest in toasting also known as microphone rocking, this will provide a spicy but tasty filling.
• Counteract the overwhelming flavour of hip hop by introducing subtle grains of breakbeat. Finely chop a rough handful of samples and sprinkle generously.
• Flambe elements of Public Enemy, Led Zeppelin, Lata Mangeshkar, RD Burman and other ingredients from the same tree to an unrecognisable form before proceeding.
• Place in large pot, stew together and serve nicely browned.

(feeds 1…..everyone)